Sunday, July 16, 2006

 

On the fickle nature of "Self-Confidence"

What are the ways in which we typically derive/maintain our "self-confidence"? Some of the avenues are "Good-looks", "Achievements", "talents", "character" etc. The reason I put each of the items in quotations, is to emphasize the fact that each of qualitites are those that the world has bestowed upon the party under consideration.

In each of the following examples consider a person who derives his/her self-confidence based on good-looks, talents, character respectively.

For example consider a person that is considered good-looking. Suppose he/she and her friend 'B' meets another person 'C'. For some reason if the person 'C' only pays attention to B more than A, naturally this would cause some discomfort in A. The extent of this discomfort is related to the emotional stability of A -- but even to the most stable of people, the repetition of such incidents will certainly cause a drop in (what we call) the self-confidence of A.
Actually this idea was illustrated , quite brutally, in the film, American Beauty. (Well, this was not the main theme of the film but one of the things.).

The same idea can be applied to other such qualities. For example, suppose a person is a good violonist ( the world considers him/her). But for some reason, he gives a recital and the audience thinks what he played was crap. Again depending on the stability of the original person, this may or may not cause significant discomfort. But repeated such incidents will cause a drop in self-confidence.

Finally consider a person who is considered a very moral person with good character. Suppose suddenly something happens to the world and rules of the world are changed and now "right" is "wrong" and "wrong" is "right". (Here I am emphasizing the fact that moral are but rules). Again the person will now become "bad" and his confidence will drop.
...I just gave this rather improbable example for variation...A more practical example in line with the first two is still applicable for "character".

So, I wonder, how something called "self-confidence" can be a function of something the world percieves of us.

Thus I conclude in the ideal world, self-confidence is a quantity that should be possessed without a reason. But in such an ideal state, the person may not have any need to posess self-confidence.

The last two statements of the previous paragraph do not contradict each other.

Comments:
"So, I wonder, how something called "self-confidence" can be a function of something the world percieves of us"

- i have also wondered. 'pure' self-confidence is when world-opinion is realised as immaterial.
one factor you've not considered is the company that person A, say, chooses to keep. he/she can select the subset that approves him/her. though this appears negative, i have seen that many maintain their self-confidence only in this way.
 
Yes this can be considered an avenue and yes all of us employ this technique :)
 
Yes this can be considered an avenue and yes, all of us employ this technique :)
 
self-confidence=f(contentment,achievement)
 
yes I agree, with one slight change:

"self-confidence"=f("contentment","achievement")

where "" = 'what people consider to be'

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v
 
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